Cold open:

A little kid named Trumpette asks Mom for a cookie. Mom says “no.” Trumpette doesn’t like the answer. He doesn’t accept it. He sticks out his bottom lip and starts looking around for Dad.

Pouty Trumpette asks Dad for a cookie. Dad says, “What did your mom say?” Trumpette stares down at his shoe, shuffles the other foot around a bit, and says, “no.” “Then the answer is ‘no.’ She’s probably almost done fixing dinner, anyway.” says Dad. The little guy doesn’t accept it.

Now Trumpette is desperate to find someone who’ll tell him what he wants to hear so he can have what he wants to have even if it isn’t good for him. Who better to ask than Grandma? Victory! Grandma says “yes,” and he goes to take his cookie. Trumpette has learned not to bother with the other two anymore. He’ll just skip to the person who’ll tell him whatever he wants to hear.

Title sequence, and opening credits introduce our star, Trumpette.

(The Republican’s Incompetence Parade channel (aka NumptyVision) presents to you the pilot for our new program, The Trumpette Show. Enjoy! And don’t forget to fill out the questionnaire at the end made especially for you by the same GOP hacks who brought you the “Mainstream Media Accountability Survey.”)

Our little Trumpette has grown up now, and he’s a “but her emails” guy (he rarely says her name, generally refers to her as “The Whore” or “Killary”). That’s his answer for pretty much anything he can’t answer with “winning!” or “I’ve got yer <fill in the blank> right here” (accented with the obligatory crotch grab- his hand is there a lot). He’s a smidge under six feet tall with pale, white skin and short, messy brown hair under a Made-In-China red cap with white lettering on the front. In the opening credits we saw him working his way up on the factory floor to supervisor after only nine years on the job. Good for our “hero.”

The lighting is inconsistent, the sound can be sort of echo-y, and the camera work is not smooth and interesting like other TV shows. It’s kind of jerky, and sometimes we’re looking up at Trumpette’s face, into his nostrils, as if we’re in someone’s purse or briefcase. Or the camera stays completely still as the people in the scene move all around in the frame, sometimes stepping outside of the frame.

Aha, this is some kind of “reality” show.

We’re just getting to know Trumpette in this pilot. A few cameras are set up in “permanent” locations such as in the shelf over his left shoulder at the computer. As far as we can tell, the only reading Trumpette really does is on Twitter, though he does watch some TV. His “news” is snippets of video from Fox or a headline and a paragraph or two from Breitbart or whatever comes across his feed. He munches on McNuggets he picked up on the way home from work as he scrolls through his Twitter feed. His face is beginning to feel warm. . .

Trumpette isn’t concerned with the use of the word “gypsy.” He doesn’t consider it offensive in the least so there’s no reason it should be offensive to anyone else.

“What’s wrong with people,” he mumbles.

He yells “Fake News!” so loudly the sound comes out muffled and distorted. Viewers wonder where the microphone is hidden. Is it in the computer? The collar of his T-shirt?

“Yeah! Investigate this!” (scoots chair back so he can reach his crotch) “They’re going to lose! Losers!” “Fake news!”

(Viewers, meanwhile, read fast enough to have caught that our twitter hamster, who is proud to be a Deplorable, appreciates that their autistic son can be covered on their work insurance plan until he’s 26 with no concerns about his (pre-existing) conditions. In the same thread, though, the rodent argues repeatedly and passionately that the ACA should be repealed.)

More scrolls through, especially stuff related to the affordable health insurance thread. We see Trumpette nodding in agreement as barely-literate people who probably graduated from public schools whine about socialism using photos of hammer and sickle (because duh). We see guns, Bibles, backlit crosses, and flags of the United States and of the Confederacy, . . .

This one just kind of made Trumpette’s eyes roll back in his head. “Math. Yuck.” he mumbles.

 

He says “fuck yeah, those libtards don’t work anyway…” . . . “free health care. . .”

Stillness.

Silence.

(We can’t hear the gears squeaking in his little brain, but unbeknownst to us Trumpette decides right then to find a new word for “libtard” in case this is true.)

Fade to black.

Credits and a link to a web page.

Viewers are left to wonder: Coincidence? or did the producers set that “libtard” feed up somehow? Helluva trick.

(Stay tuned for more quality programming from the Republican’s Incompetence Parade channel (aka NumptyVision))

Link: “Why So Many Democrats Are Embracing Single-Payer Health Care” – by Clare Foran at The Atlantic

Link: “The Trump Media Survey Is Phenomenally Biased. It’s Also Useful” – by Danielle Kurtzleben at NPR

Link: “People with disabilities will pay for the GOP’s Medicaid cuts” – by Julie Reiskin for The Hill

Link to original tweet from Avi B.

Barack Obama FB Post on the ACA

Misc. links:

Actually Mueller's not investigating anything , media says he is but HE IS NOT . There are investigations happening but it's all democrats .

— Deplorable Rodent (@vhfancc) July 19, 2017

WRONG , 100% WRONG , you do realize that EVERYTHING the media says is not true don't you , it's called FAKE NEWS for a reason !!!!!!

— Deplorable Rodent (@vhfancc) July 19, 2017