We’ve been taking some time away from the reality TV because, to be perfectly honest, there’s been no way to spin any of this crooked bullshit as anything other than what it is: dangerous and stupid bullshit (or as John Oliver calls the Russia part of it, “Stupid Watergate”). In an attempt to keep things light because raping children and taking away people’s health insurance and rampant mass shootings are. . . light. . .here’s a dose of our fucking reality.
Welcome to the USA.
The president posted a tweet today in response to the allegation against Senator Franken though he waited until it was pretty much over (except for the ethics investigation). Franken’s victim reported the incident. He apologized. She accepted the apology and said doesn’t want him to resign. He suggested a formal Ethics Investigation of his own anyway. That was all today although there was a suspicious tweet last night with some foreshadowing from that freak Roger Stone. Anyway, after she said he did it, he apologized, owned it, and they’re good, after all that ,Trump (aka The Black Pot, pictured above) piped up with a tweet calling out Franken (aka The Black Kettle, also pictured above). Meanwhile, kiddie raper, mall troller, and all-around woman grabber, Roy Moore of Alabama gets no comment from 45. Probably has Sean Hannity doing his sucking up for him. For our new viewers, this is the same Pussy-Grabber-In-Chief who has pending charges for raping a woman when she was 13 years old (amongst other allegations). Yeah, that fuckin’ guy.
Everyone’s favorite Attorney General, the KKK elf we all love to hate, Jeff Sessions, starred on Witch Hunt this week. He just can’t seem to get enough of that perjury. He added some new perjury sprinkled in with the old, and Sessions danced around a suspicious report on “Black Identity Extremists.” Mostly it was hours of rambling and “ah don’t recall” and “well, I nevah” and the like. He seems determined to convince Americans that he’s an idiot and shouldn’t be in charge of the fry station much less the country’s justice system.
It was an exciting day for viewers of Fuck You, I Got Mine. The House of Representatives passed a truly horrid bill they call “tax reform” on to the Senate. The purpose of the bill is to give the wealthy huge tax cuts they don’t need at the expense of taxpayers, their insurance, their Medicare. . . Next it goes to the Senate where they are already working on their version of a “tax reform” bill. Spoiler alert!***** We still boot millions off their insurance and make big cuts to Medicare and Medicaid. But wait, there’s more! You can’t claim your medical expenses or interest on school loans, but thank god you can deduct for your private jet. I know that’s been weighing on your minds, right? right?
On Loose Lips, Jared Kushner and DJT Jr. handed documents and emails over to Mueller’s team, including the emails where Jr. coordinated with Wikileaks. Between the indictments, these new documents, and issuing a subpoena to more than a dozen officials today things aren’t looking good for Team Russia.
Trump’s deferments kept him out of Vietnam for more than 45 years, but it all finally caught up with him. It would seem that he found a way to tap into his pre-deferment self; somehow the 9-year-old Trump tweeted while he was in Vietnam.
Last, but not least, little Trump got to have unsupervised visits with his BFF Putin (or would that be BCF?). Did Little Trump get to build a pillow fort with his favorite comrade? Did they share secrets and Pez? Has Master spoken? How much longer do we get to enjoy First Amendment Rights?
(This quality programming brought to you by the Republican’s Incompetence Parade channel (aka NumptyVision). I will try to stay strong, but the first wife – another of his rape victims, btw – and third wife getting into their scuffle about who is First Lady was so fucking Jerry Springer that it pushed me over the edge. I was simply unable to find humor in this dumpsterfire of a regime. Thank you, Malaury, for your support and ideas. I want to do the Shitcom, but they’re all just so awful. . . *hugs* I promise to work on it. Stay tuned.)
Link: “1 More Woman Accuses Trump Of Inappropriate Sexual Conduct. Here’s The Full List” – by Danielle Kurtzleben at NPR, a pre-election story. Reminder that we knew who the president was when he was elected.
Link: “More than a dozen top Trump campaign officials subpoenaed in Mueller probe” – by Tucker Higgins at CNBC
Link to a thread from Scott Dworkin including a list of the people Trump assaulted who have come forward.
Link to original tweet from DJT about Franken’s charges.
Link to original tweet from DJT on why Kim Jong-Un was mean to him.
Link to original tweet (below) from Matthew Itkin.
You might find this graphic handy for social media:
#HelloKettle #Rapey45